What's missing?

Only what I have not given can be missing in any situation

I was thinking about the above quote as I moved through my day today. I was looking at a couple of situations in my life where I sometimes experience a sense of lack, and a feeling of being deprived. Since these feelings do not consistently occur each time the situation arises, what is it that makes the difference in my experience?

When I approach anyone or any situation with fear, and with a sense of holding myself back, to see how things go, I do not feel safe or generous, and I come from a sense of scarcity in my interactions. It is the act of holding back the love, until I see whether it is safe, that gives me the experience that something is missing in my day, whether I am shopping, talking with friends, or writing or reading. I am missing the experience of love, and of being loved, because in withholding it in any situation, I am withholding it from myself.

My ego always has good reasons for me to do this, and cautions me many times a day to be sensible, be careful, and to withhold the love and the joy I am until I see whether the other, or the situation, deserves it.

The thing I like about all of this, is that life is like an ongoing experiment in a petri dish (for some!) and as I observe my thoughts and my experiences, I can keep correcting habitual fear thoughts so that I bring myself back to the truth of who I am, and back to the experience of love and fullness in all of my interactions.

Here's to much love in a petri dish!

Dawn